I have this awful habit of forgetting I even have a blog for a very long period of time. I really wish I was better about this whole 'writing regularly' thing, and I think I was when I actually had a lot to write about. When I was in a really bad place this blog was such a good outlet to let everything out that I couldn't face sharing with the people in my life, as well as a way to connect with others going through the same things and forming friendships. However, now that I'm doing so well, I don't really have a need to write everything out anymore!! And therefore I go through these long periods of time forgetting this blog exists, hehe :)
Anyways, I guess for a quick update on my life: I've been SUPER busy lately! I'm a senior in High School right now, and at the moment I'm completely burried in my schoolwork on top of university applications. Craaaaazy. I submitted my first (and hopefully only if I get in) university application ten days ago on the 15th, I find out if I get in on December 15. Crossing my fingers!! I applied early decision to this school, it is my number one top absolutely best perfect school that I really really reallllly want to go to if you can't tell ;D
Mentally I've still been doing great. My moods/stress levels haven't been ideal the past few weeks, with all the stresses I've been under, and I've broken down a couple times but nothing out of an ordinary teenager issue. Anorexia hasn't even been an issue in a very very long time, and neither has depression. I haven't had anxiety in a long time either, until a couple days ago on Friday when I had kind of a strange day. I got super anxious after school and called my mum to talk to her because I couldn't just handle my emotions myself. I didn't feel safe at school, I was walking all over trying to find somewhere to sit and let the anxiety pass, but everywhere I went there were bad memories, mostly of E. That's one thing I'm looking forward too when I go to college, a fresh start where I don't accidentally walk into a certain place and get a full-blown panic attack from sudden memories flashback. Anyways, I called my mum, and when I heard her voice I just couldn't hold in the emotions I was feeling anymore and just started sobbing right there for the next half-hour or so. (People were looking at me, it was kinda awkward.) My mum called one of my close friends' mum and she came to pick me up from school and took me to their house where I spent the rest of the day/night until my mum came home from work (she had to stay late that day.) I was so grateful to them for being there for me when I just needed someone, I sat on their couch under a big fluffy blanket and talked to my friends (they're twins) and they made me hot chocolate, it was exactly what I needed. Having friends like that who are always there for you is the best. Later their mum made us macaroni and cheese, which was perfect comfort food, and we ended up watching SNL and Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition episodes (guilty pleasure??:))
Anyways, that's enough rambling for right now, it's getting quite late now and I need to sleep for school tomorrow. This week I only have two days of school, yay!! Hopefully I won't just forget I have a blog as soon as I publish this post again, but no promises, because I seem to say that every time I write an update post))) I'll also upload some pictures tomorrow of me and things I've been doing lately:)
How have you all been doing? Leave me a comment or shoot me an email or anything, I'd love to hear from you and I'll respond as soon as time allows (which may not be for a few days, I'm so busy at the moment :s). Hope you're all doing great!
As a final thought, I need to finally change my blog title and description again.. it doesn't quite apply anymore) maybe i'll get around to that in the next few days! But for now: