Why do people have to care about me..? I have realized in the past few months that there are people that do. And it just makes everything so much more complicated.
I mean. I'm going along, hating that I have to be alive. Keep eating. Do all this stupid recovery stuff. (okay maybe not stupid.. but.. ugh.)
If people didn't care about me.. I wouldn't have to go through all this. I could just kill myself. Stop eating and go down to nothing. Do something to end the pain.. But I can't. I mean what would that do to my mum, dad? My close friends? Heck, even my not-so-close friends? Extended family? It would be horrible. I couldn't do that to them.
But I wish they just wouldn't care, if I lived or died, because then I could just go away. Be done with all this.
They do though. And that's the problem.