First, I just have to say thank you all for your lovely comments and support, it really helps so much :)
Tomorrow will start my second week at the treatment program. And I am so glad that I chose to do this. It is helping me so much. I love the place that I go to, all the staff is amazing and I've made a few really close friends already. The great part about going there is that for the first time it really feels like I can go somewhere and be open about everything. Not hide who I am, what I'm feeling. Having people around me that completlely understand what I am feeling, and people who accept me for who I am, that don't judge me. I can go and be completely honest, say that I'm having a crappy day, or I don't want to eat this. There's times when my friends and I will sit outside and just complain about everything that's going wrong, and it feels so much better to get everything out with people that understand exactly what you mean.
I can't say that anything has been easy. Everything has been so, so hard. The weekend has been especially hard, the ED voices have been really strong. I've been trying the whole weekend not to relapse, go back to old habits, it's so tempting. But it would be hard to anyways because of the close watch kept on me by my mum. She makes sure I eat everything, which is good. But I have to work so hard to keep my mind in the right place. Keep a recovery mindset. Not slip back, only look forward.
On Friday I had yoga class which is free at my recovery center, and it was absolutely amazing! I am in love with yoga now! :) Try it out if you haven't, it makes you feel really good.
Saturday I went out with one of my friends to the mall and this other fancy shopping centrum place, it was a lot of fun. I had some anxiety before and during, but it turned out okay, we had a good time and I got some cute clothes. Some pictures are below.
Today was a pretty bad day, I was just feeling horrible for no reason. Mum and I went to a seaside town an hour away, I was in a bad mood but she had fun so it was fine. I didn't bring her down, I made sure she knew that it wasn't anything she was doing, it was just me being moody.
I'm also learning to be more open about what's going on. That if you're feeling bad, it's not going to help anything keeping the thoughts in. It can be really hard to let people around you know what you're really feeling. But in the end it actually helps a lot. You feel so much better.
So there's just kind of a random smattering of thoughts from this week. Maybe i'll get into posting regularly again now, but I'm not going to make any promises- I'll post when I want to, but I'm not going to let it burden or stress me, because really I need to be focusing on my real life right now, not on the computer :) like for example, right now it's 12 and I really need to be sleeping :s haha!
Some pictures from yesterday: (sorry they're not all rotated, I forgot to fix all of them before I uploaded them but i'm too lazy to re-upload :))
Trying on really high heels at Forever 21! :)
^^toes were tied together, I couldn't walk anywhere without falling over forwards, lol! how inconvenient.
eww those ones i'm wearing are uglyyy
LOVED these ones though, I didn't expect to but I tried them on and wow, they were great!
Fancy shopping centrum:
Fishtailed my friend's hair while waiting in line for pearl milk tea
We had a little picnic on this green in the centrum, it was nice! Pearl milk tea + cupcakes from this fancy store (mine is the mini one of course :/). =major anxiety, but it actually wasn't too bad! :)
Urban Outfitters, one of my favourite stores :))))
View of the green from inside urban outfitters, this is only a tiny little side part of the whole centrum though haha, not the main part! didn't take any pics of the main part.
Inside urban outfitters
Got shoes at Forever 21! only $7 :)
That's it for now :) I'll try to post more again throughout the week! And also start commenting once again on everybody's blogs :) Hope you're all doing well, don't give up!!