Friday, April 6, 2012

Seriously exhausted and overwhelmed.

Well as the title says. I am exhausted and totally overwhelmed by everything that I found out from the doctor today. I'm also extremely sick right now, not fun on top of it all, but I'm starting to feel a little better. My fever is gone and my head still hurts a ton but not unbearably anymore. And I'm going to be able to sleep well as soon as I finish this post. Don't think I'll have any trouble sleeping tonight even though I'm sick, I think the exhaustion will win lol :)

So I'm not going to write about everything that happened today right now because I'm really needing to get to sleep, I'm actually in bed writing this from my mobile right now :)

But basically, things are so much worse than I had any idea about. As in, if I don't follow the meals they told me to have (6 times eating a day... Aah???? And 3 of those 6 I'll be unsupervised and responsible for eating myself. I really hope I'll be able to do it..) and if I dont follow that and completely cut down my activity, then theyre probably going to have to put me in the hospital because my heart is extremely weak right now and I'm in danger of heart failure or something. Unmmmmmm??? Scary much? I had no idea that I was actually harming my body at all. I didnt think there were any bad effects or anything besides just the mental stuff and being kinda tired/low energy. So basically I'm in danger of going to the hospital for my heart weakness. And if I continued like I have been, then it is very likely that something would happen to my heart in the next few weeks, like failure or heart attack or whatever. So things have to change, right now.

So that's basically the most important stuff that we found out today. But I'll get into all the details about everything in a post tomorrow after I've gotten more sleep and aren't so sick. But I'm really scared now. To find out that your in danger of dying in the next few weeks, and not knowing if your strong enough mentally to eat what you need to survive. Well, it's pretty terrifying.

So today has been pretty shocking and intense. And really long and tiring, both mentally and physically (it doesn't help that I'm seriously sick right now too..) but now I'm going to go to sleep, I'll post more about everything tomorrow.

Hope everything's well. Goodnight x

and sorry if this post is horribly written I'm pretty mucch asleep right now and on my mobile which makes it kinda hard to type too well :)

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