And the scariest thing is that I know these thoughts are bad, but at the same time I don't think there's anything wrong with me. It's hard to explain. Like I know that there really is something wrong, but the stronger ana side says, 'no, you're being perfectly normal.' I was thinking as I was going home, well, it's normal not to eat anything until dinner right? It's totally normal in my mind. But I guess that's not normal to most people.
Well, things have definitely taken a turn for the worse I guess. Maybe by the time I get put in recovery (or whatever it will be), I will actually need it after all. And maybe by the time I get there, I won't even want it anymore. Because right now, all I want to do is stop eating and just fade away.